January 5, 2007

• The Five Love Languages

  Mr. Poppy and I are doing a premarital counseling thing with our wonderful officiant/pastor since we've been engaged. The first thing that was recommended was a book entitled: "The Five Love Languages: How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate" by Gary Chapman. I am not one that likes reading books that are sort of along the self help line but I have to say that this book changed my whole outlook on relationships.

  The book talks about how there are five primary love languages and that each of us has our own "language". It goes on to explain in depth about the five languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. The interesting thing is that Chapman goes on to explain that sometimes we try to show our love in our primary love language and we wonder why our spouse doesn't appreciate or feel loved. Unless your significant other speaks the same primary language, he's not going to know.

  I love how this book says that love is not a magical thing, it is a choice. You choose to love someone, you also choose to show that love. After reading this book I realise that my fiance and I do speak in each other's love language and we feel more than loved already. But this book actually really brought perspective in my other relationships with people and made me realise that some friends I wasn't speaking their primary love language. While I was reading I was thinking in my head: "Oh Sarah's love language isn't 'receiving gifts' but it's 'words of affirmation'!" or "Oh, all this time I was spending 'quality time' with my mother when she really feels loved by 'acts of service'".

  Now I know that I'm being very vague with what exactly these five languages are... But I promise that it will really make you think about how to make your husband and others feel truly loved. Although this book is geared towards Christians, I find that it's very minimal with the Christian talk and more in depth about how to approach relationships.

  If any of you have read it, please do share! I'd love to hear about it. Those that haven't read it, please give it a try. I know that it inspired me - and I don't usually get this way about books.

  • 3:21 pm
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